Lesson 1

Lesson 1: Don't annoy the Qantas crew.

After getting back on the plane from Singapore, I noticed that the flight wasn't quite full. I also noticed that there was a row of four in the middle with only one guy at the end of it. I noticed further that I was in the window seat of a full triple. If I wanted to get up, I'd have to annoy the very nice Italian elderly couple sitting aside me.

The plane started moving to its take off point, when we were informed that we would be sitting here for 15 odd minutes while something got sorted. We were also poiltely informed to stay in our seats with our seatbelts fastened. Deciding we had at least 2 minutes before the plane even thought about moving again, I took the opportunity to jump up and claim the other end of that 4 person row. It meant I had a spare seat next to me and also I wouldn't be annoying anyone to go to the lav, and vice versa. About 3 Qantas personel intercepted me just as I was sitting down in my new seat. I was given a quick word that I should stay in my seat with my belt fastened as indicated, but no further fuss was made as they scurried back to their own seats.

The flight takes off, and as soon as the seat belt turns off, one of the staff inform me that there is a family moving to this location and I must return to my seat. I obliged, after all, I was thinking of the children. I had a look up and down the plane, and there were several lucky passengers that had appropriated entire 4 person rows and prompty lay themselves across them. I happened to sit on the end of a three person seat on the side of the plane, as the gentlemen there was quitly snoozing in his window seat. He rustled awake soon after and gave much such a dirty look that would have killed a person of not of stern constitution. I went to move back to my original seat and the Italian couple were surprised to see me. I looked over to the place I'd moved from, and the family were nowhere to be seen. It had been about 15 minutes since I'd moved from that place, and I thought perhaps that family had found themselves a place further back in the plane. I discussed this with some other staff who had heard nothing about said family. I put myself back in that seat. A few minutes later the earlier stewardess came to inform me that there was indeed a family coming to sit here, and that they had been eating.

I vacated again, and moved back to my original seat. About 5 to 10 minutes later a single woman of large proportions was ushered into my coveted seat. She remained there for the rest of the flight. She even had a meal, which if I am to believe the stewardess was her second. So whilst she made herself comfortable in the place I'd so wished for, I went to watch a movie to find my tv didn't work. It had worked on the flight from Melbourne to Singapore, and I was in the same seat on the same plane. A couple requests failed to bear my audio visual fruit, and I resigned myself to a flight of my own entertainment, some of which was provided by the nice Italian couple next to me in conversation.

Oh vengeful Qantas cabin crew! Hell hath no fury compared with your spite!